Big Fan of this Comedy Christmas Movie? Then this post is right for you, as here are the 71+ Jolliest Bunch of Christmas Vacation Quotes that are most popular! And here is the Greeting Quote just for you ⬇️ Christmas Vacation Quotes Christmas Vacation Quotes Kiss My “Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah." National Lampoon Christmas Vacation Quotes “We are gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas.” Related: 77+ Popular Nightmare Before Christmas Quotes “We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we're gonna need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles!” Todd: Hey, Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big? Clark: Bend over and I'll show you.Todd: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that, Griswold. Clark: I wasn't talking to you. "And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse" "Eat my road grit, Liver lips!" Best Christmas Vacation Quotes "Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here." “Is your house on fire, Clark?” Related: 60+ Exemplary Christmas Movie Quotes that We all Love! "We're not driving all the way out here so you can get one of those stupid ties with Santa Clauses on it, are we, Dad?" Christmas Vacation Quotes Exterior Illumination “Dad, you taught me everything I know about exterior illumination.” "Do you hear it? It's a funny squeaky sound." " Her eyes are frozen " Iconic Christmas Vacation Quotes “Oh, the silent majesty of a winter’s morn; the clean, cool chill of the holiday air; and an assh*le in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.” Related: 31 Most Popular "Charlie Brown Christmas Quotes" “You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.” “Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so." “Clark, stop it. I don’t want to spend the holidays dead.” "Uncle Clark, are you sure you ain't Santy Claus ?" Christmas Vacation Quotes Nuthouse Jolliest Bunch of assholes this side of the Nuthouse. “She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don't know." "I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard staring at the house in my pajamas." Related: 231+ ‘Funny Christmas Quotes’ that you will Die of Laughter! "The most enduring traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin." "Folks ! Folks ! Folks ! Merry Christmas." " I'm gonna catch it in the coat and smack it with the Hammer " Funny Christmas Vacation Quotes "Tis the Season of Merry. That's my Name. No shit" “Surprised, Eddie?... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.” “We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f***ing Kaye." “Lotta sap in here! Mmmm... Looks great! Little full, lotta sap." “I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery." “Worse? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell." "See you can't see the line." Christmas Vacation Quotes Eggnog “Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?" Related: Best 27+ Short Christmas Quotes with Hd Images ( 2020 ) "Merry Christmas to ALL and to All Good Night ! " Christmas Vacation Quotes Tylenol “Hallelujah! Holy sh*t! Where's the Tylenol?" - National Lampoon Christmas Vacation " Squirrel " Christmas Vacation Quotes Cousin Eddie Christmas Vacation Quotes Cousin Eddie Save the neck for me, Clark. Clark, I’d like to try to fumigate this here chair, it’s a good quality item. If you don’t mind my askin’, how much did she set you back? If it isn’t too much I’d like to get somethin’ for you Clark, somethin’… real nice. Your company kill all them people in India not too long ago? Well, I don't know about the Cat, But I am sure Am enjoying it ! Uncle Eddie Christmas Vacation Quotes You don’t want him around if you’re wearing short pants, you know what I mean? Oh, no, that there is an RV. Oh, he’s just yakkin’ on a bone. Merry Christmas. Sh*tter was full! She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don’t know. "If this gets dented then my hair just ain’t gonna look right." If only I had that money Catherine and I gave to that TV preacher who was screwin’ that hockey player. Last season he was a pixie dust spreader on the Tilt-A-Whirl. He thinks that next year he’ll be guessing people’s weight or barkin’ for the yak lady. You are about ready to do some Kissing ? Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas, Clark ! I don’t know if I should go sailin’ down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic. Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I’d piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so. "Shitter was full " Clark Griswold Christmas Vacation Quotes Clark Griswold Christmas Vacation Quotes “We’re kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.” — Clark Griswold “Hey kids, look! A deer!” “Eat my rubber!” — Clark Griswold“Dad, I think what you mean is ‘Burn rubber, and eat my dust…'” — Rusty Griswold“Whatever, Russ. Whatever.” — Clark Griswold Chevy Chase Christmas Vacation Quotes “Dad, that thing wouldn’t fit in our yard!” — Rusty Griswold“It’s not going in our yard, Russ. It’s going in our living room.” — Clark Griswold “Thith tree is a thymbol of the thpirit of the Griswold family Christhmath.” “A lot of sap in here! Looks great. A little full. A lot of sap.” “Honey, they’re family—not strangers off the street.” “Your mother waxes her upper lip?…Hmm doesn’t show.” “I was just smelling…smiling! I was just blouse…browsing!” Famous Christmas Vacation Quotes “It wouldn’t be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter-hotter! Then they are.” “I was just looking at something for my wife, God rest her soul.” — Clark Griswold“God, I’m so sorry!” — Mary“Oh, no, no! She’s not dead. Yet. We’re just divorced. She’s history.” — Clark Griswold “Can’t see the line, can ya, Russ?” “I’ll, uh, park the cars, and check the luggage, and, uh…I’ll be outside for the season.” “Oops, a little knot here. You work on that.” “Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.” “I just can’t believe you’re actually standing here in my living room, Eddie.” “Going for a new amateur recreational saucer sled land speed record—Clark W. Griswold Jr.!” Aunt Bethany Christmas Vacation Quotes Aunt Bethany Christmas Vacation Quotes Aunt Bethany: Is this the airport, Clark? Aunt Bethany: Is Rusty still in the navy? Ellen: Oh Aunt Bethany, you shouldn't have done that. Aunt Bethany: Oh dear, did I break wind? Uncle Lewis: Jesus, did the room clear out, Bethany? Hell no, she means presents. You shouldn't have brought presents. Clark: Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace. Aunt Bethany: What, dear? Nora Griswold: Grace! Aunt Bethany: Grace? She passed away thirty years ago. Uncle Lewis: They want you to say, Grace. Uncle Lewis: The BLESSING! Aunt Bethany: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Clark: Amen. Aunt Bethany: What's that sound? Do you hear it? It's a funny squeaky sound. Uncle Lewis: You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant. Uncle Lewis Christmas Vacation Quotes Uncle Lewis: What is that? Clark: Lewis? My tree! Uncle Lewis: So what's the matter with you? Clark: Look what you've done to my tree! Uncle Lewis: Hey Gris, you're not doing anything constructive. Run into the living room and get my stogey. Clark: Is there anything else I can do for you, Uncle Lewis? Ellen: He's an old man. This may be his last Christmas. Clark: If he keeps it up, it WILL be his last Christmas. Ellen: Oh Aunt Bethany, you shouldn't have done that. Aunt Bethany: Oh dear, did I break wind? Uncle Lewis: Jesus, did the room clear out, Bethany? Hell no, she means presents. You shouldn't have brought presents. Uncle Lewis: Hey Grizz, Bethany and I figured out the perfect gift for you. Clark: Aw, you didn't have to get me anything. Uncle Lewis: Dammit, Bethany, he guessed it. Clark: Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace. Aunt Bethany: What, dear? Nora Griswold: Grace! Aunt Bethany: Grace? She passed away thirty years ago. Uncle Lewis: They want you to say, Grace. Uncle Lewis: The BLESSING! Aunt Bethany: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Clark: Amen.